In response to someone else noting that their MySQL/Apache/PHP stack didn't work, I realized mine had someone gotten messed up. So I tried reinstalling it. 

(I would have created a ticket, but somehow I am locked out of that.)

Warning: Uninstall forced.  Proceeding despite dependencies.

--->  Deactivating libiconv 1.12_0+darwin_8

Error: Uninstall libiconv 1.12_0+darwin_8 failed: 

Error: Unable to upgrade port: dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/ln

  Reason: Incompatible library version: ln requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

Error: Unable to upgrade port: dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/ln

  Reason: Incompatible library version: ln requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

Error: Unable to upgrade port: dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/ln

  Reason: Incompatible library version: ln requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

Error: Unable to upgrade port: dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/ln

  Reason: Incompatible library version: ln requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

Error: Unable to upgrade port: dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/ln

  Reason: Incompatible library version: ln requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

Error: Unable to upgrade port: dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/ln

  Reason: Incompatible library version: ln requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

Error: Unable to upgrade port: dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/ln

  Reason: Incompatible library version: ln requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

Error: Unable to upgrade port: dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/ln

  Reason: Incompatible library version: ln requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

Error: Unable to upgrade port: dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/ln

  Reason: Incompatible library version: ln requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

Error: Unable to upgrade port: dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/ln

  Reason: Incompatible library version: ln requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

Error: Unable to upgrade port: dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/ln

  Reason: Incompatible library version: ln requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

Error: Unable to upgrade port: dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/ln

  Reason: Incompatible library version: ln requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

Error: Unable to upgrade port: dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/ln

  Reason: Incompatible library version: ln requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

Error: Unable to upgrade port: dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/ln

  Reason: Incompatible library version: ln requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

Error: Unable to upgrade port: dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/ln

  Reason: Incompatible library version: ln requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

Error: Unable to upgrade port: dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/ln

  Reason: Incompatible library version: ln requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

Error: Unable to upgrade port: dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/ln

  Reason: Incompatible library version: ln requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

Error: Unable to upgrade port: dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/ln

  Reason: Incompatible library version: ln requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

Error: Unable to upgrade port: dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/ln

  Reason: Incompatible library version: ln requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/date

  Reason: Incompatible library version: date requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/date

  Reason: Incompatible library version: date requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/tr

  Reason: Incompatible library version: tr requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

dyld: Library not loaded: /opt/local/lib/libiconv.2.dylib

  Referenced from: /opt/local/bin/wc

  Reason: Incompatible library version: wc requires version 7.0.0 or later, but libiconv.2.dylib provides version 5.0.0

bash: [: -gt: unary operator expected

Now I am greeted with this on login: